Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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