We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
