I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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