Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
