12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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