Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
