Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i was born a porn star she said
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
