I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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