Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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