This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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