Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
