Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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