We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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