I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
