One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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