i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
