HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
