if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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