Having a random hookup so left but love u
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
