He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I have post one night stand depression
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
