my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
