best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
