I heard we made out
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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