If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
