I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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