not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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