No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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