What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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