Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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