garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
