Im at strip club and am horny
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
please don't ironically join a cult
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