Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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