So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
