I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
