Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
