Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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