I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
