Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
