I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
