Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
