Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
