alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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