In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
