just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
