It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
