Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
