STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So squirting runs in the family.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize