i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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