He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
