we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
