I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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