walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize