return my video game
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
