Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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