why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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