How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
