You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
