how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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