So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
