I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
