well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
