David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize