Just took my morning after pill in the library
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
