i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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