Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
