can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
